Our Newest Announcement!

Where to start?!

Well as most of you know, between 2011 and 2012, I carried a baby for a beautiful family that couldn’t have another child on their own. I gave birth to cute little baby Spencer on July 1^st of 2012, and I followed my entire surrogacy journey from start to finish with my “sister blog.” I had a lot of fun keeping that blog, and wanted to start a blog that gave me a little more freedom to talk about my life, my family, my goings-on, my beliefs and whatever else I fancy. So this is the beginning of my newest blog, starting with a big life-changing announcement! Many of you already know, but for those of you just coming on board, I am joining the United States Air Force! This is roughly 90% official at this point (as of July 24^th, 2013) and I will shed some light on our decision to join the Air Force, what we’ve done so far to make this a reality, what we have yet to do, and what this will mean for our family and our future! Feel free to follow along! 


How it all started:

Clark has always wanted to join the military. He talked about it before we were married, and he never stopped talking about it in the four and a half years that have followed. He actively pursued several branches of the US Military, but we were never able to make it work out. Medical issues were the biggest reason. He never gave up. When one branch would tell him no, he would turn around and talk to another. It was hard to see his heart break with each denial. I was always torn. I wanted him to pursue his dreams, but I also HATED the idea of a military life. I had been a single mom before. I knew that with basic training, tech school, and then deployments, he would go off for an unknown amount of time and leave the kids and I behind. We would be supported financially, we would have the stability that the military life offers, and he would be pursuing something he really wanted to do. But all of that was masked by the idea of going it on my own for any amount of time. Having the strain that being apart puts on a marriage. I also just hated the idea of the military. Being yelled at, having a commanding officer treat you like you’re less than them. Moving around all the time because you do what they say and you go where they go, because you do. I really just had the media image of the military. I’ve never been overly patriotic. Never really even understood what was happening when I saw those towers being hit by airplanes in 8^th grade. I just never really understood any of it. My own father joined the Army when my mom was pregnant with me. And then as far as I know, he spent my childhood in the National Guard, and he would go off and do drill once a month. I don’t ever remember it having a negative affect at all on our family, so I never associated the military with my father. Always just the media.  So while Clark desperately wanted to pursue the military, I was torn between wanting him to have what he wanted, and not wanting to have the military life. 

 

Here is a picture of my dad while he was in basic training the year I was born!  My Dad is on the right

 Fort McLellan Alabama 1987

 Clark and I have always struggled financially. It’s not unique to only us, because just about everyone has to go through it, but it isn’t much fun either. He married me and instantly became a father. I had Brionna, who was barely 2 when we were married, and Taylor, who was almost 6. Clark didn’t do things the easy way. While all of his friends got right off their missions and blew through school full speed ahead, he was adjusting to a life filled with custody battle stupidity, becoming a father, trying to figure out where we were going to live, how we were going to provide for a full sized family, unreliable vehicles, and so much more. School wasn’t his sole priority, even though an education was always a priority to him. He knew it was going to be hard when he married me. But despite how hard we tried, life threw us one curve ball after another. We’ve spent the last 4 years feeling like we were drowning. Now you have to understand. Our expenses are automatically higher because of the size of our family. Other couples starting out either haven’t had children yet, or they have 1 brand new little one, MAYBE 2 small kids. But they can easily fit in their little sedan. They can squeeze into a one or two bedroom no problem. They don’t have the extra expense of a 3-bedroom home, the gas that comes with a larger vehicle, the added food expense, the extra clothing expense. Expenses that come from kids in school, kids that need extra curricular activities like dance, t-ball, soccer, etc. It was so hard to see all his friends graduating college, going on vacations, driving nice cars (anything was nice as long as it had 4 wheels and a motor as far as we were concerned. We could barely keep our vehicles mobile) We had the financial hardship of the custody battle that took place before we were even married. Our friends were starting their careers. Our friends were buying their first houses. Some were barely getting pregnant with their first. We were the same age as all these friends who were starting their lives, but we had the responsibilities and hardships of people much much older than us. It has been a tough place to be, and Clark would beat himself up thinking he wasn’t doing enough. He thought he had failed in some way. Of course this wasn’t at all the case. It wasn’t reasonable or realistic to expect him to be superman and bounce right to the front of the line when he had weights and burdens holding him back. Not being able to join the military made it that much harder for him. The only part about the military that was appealing to me was the idea that we would have some sort of stability. A steady income. He would be able to gain job training and we would move closer to something substantial. Anything had to be more substantial than living paycheck to paycheck, barely scraping by, knowing that next month, we were going to have to figure out how on earth we were going to make ends meet all over again. Clark has been drowning, trying to keep his head above water with a full time job, a full family, full time school, and a church calling. Not to mention the financial hardships that kept kneecapping us at every turn. It’s been brutal. I just kept telling him, “It won’t be this way forever. Everyone has to start somewhere, make the long never-ending journey through college, endure crappy job after crappy job until they’re finally through school.” (And then I’d shudder as I thought, “But man, the military sure would make some things easier… “)  [sigh]

I will say this. Although it was incredibly hard physically, our surrogacy journey brought in a separate income that helped relieve our burden for a short time, and we were able to come out of the pregnancy completely debt free. We don’t owe a single dime to anyone, anywhere for anything. We were able to fund the adoption for Clark to adopt Brionna, and we bought a reliable crossover SUV that was completely paid off within 60 days. Then Clark was hit by a semi-truck and we lost our commuter car at the end of 2012, which is just another example of how we always get clotheslined and railroaded at every turn. Nevertheless, financial good did come from our surrogacy journey, and it goes to show that no matter what we’re up against, we always find some way to push through it. 

  

In February 2014, we will have been married for 5 years. We have endured and overcome more things than most people deal with in a lifetime. There are things that most of you don’t even know about. We’ve always tried to stay positive and keep moving forward. Clark has two years left of school, before he (tentatively) starts his masters program, which will be another 4 years. (By tentatively I mean, that’s the plan as of now.) He is pursuing a degree in New Testament Studies. One day, he wants to teach on a University level. He loves everything about history and religion, and is very excited about his chosen path. Which is huge, because he’s spent years thinking he’d never find anything that would make him happy. But 6 years of school ahead is a mountain in itself. You have to remember; I’ve struggled financially ever since I got pregnant at 14. I’ve gone at it on my own for over ten years now… and we still have another 6 years ahead, minimum. That’s if Clark can power through both degrees without any hang-ups. We’re exhausted and would give anything to survive the next 6 years. I would do anything to take some of the burden off Clark’s shoulders. Like I said, he is doing it all on his own right now. I only qualify to go out and make minimum wage. Maybe $10 or $11 an hour if I’m lucky. But then there is the matter of childcare. Most of you know what I’m talking about here. If I work, most of that paycheck is going to go towards childcare. Which makes working absolutely pointless. It just becomes a big headache. We can try to work opposite shifts, but we only have one vehicle, which makes logistics almost impossible. Even if I did get a second income, that doesn’t really take away from how much is on Clark’s shoulders. Whether I’m working or not, he still has to provide the full time income to support our family. My income would just make it a little easier to stay afloat is all. He still has to get the college degree. Don’t get me wrong, I’d do that too if I had too. But we can’t do it at the same time, and he obviously needs to degree for the career that will support our family in the long run. Both of us taking a semester at the same time over this summer just about did us in.

  

We have a friend who illustrated our situation very well. He said, “You need 3 things. You need someone to bring in the full time income. You need someone to get a full time education, and you need someone to watch your children full time. There are 3 things that you need, but there are only two of you.”  BINGO! We had hardly told anyone about our plans to pursue the Air Force at this point, but this friend of ours (being the logical type that he is) understood right away. It made complete sense to him. Only those that are very close to us truly know just how much we struggle. It was the same way for our parents. They understood just how much we struggled and just how much we could benefit from the military.

What the Air Force has to offer:

The Air Force actually offers way more than just those 3 things. I will gain job training and a skill, but I will learn that skill WHILE earning a full time income to support our family. I don’t have to take out student loans and incur more debt in order to gain that skill. While I’m working full time in the Air Force, Clark can power through his Bachelors and possibly his Masters degree all online. If he’s able to go to school from home, then we never have the issue of childcare. He will be home with our kid’s full time, he will be getting his education, and because he doesn’t have the added pressure of a full time job, he will be able to take more credits each semester and get through his degree even faster! THAT’S HUGE! Supposedly, I will be able to earn a degree through the Air Force (if I so choose) and then I’ll have a separate G.I. Bill that we can put towards Clark’s student loans. That will significantly decrease his student loan debt, which is great. However, when the day comes to pay on student loans, we will be in a far better position to do so, because he will have his degree and a good career, and I will also have a career. We will be able to handle the student loans when the time comes, whether or not we have the G.I. Bill. The Air Force will still offer so much more. If something ever happened to Clark, I’d be a single mom, on my own with nothing to fall back on. This would give me that peace of mind that if anything did ever happen to Clark, our family would be okay and we’d have that stability that we would so desperately need. Life in the military would also bring the opportunity to travel. We are so excited, and think of it as an adventure. It’s kind of like airport roulette. We don’t know where we’re going or how long we’ll be there, but it’s an adventure! There are obviously places that would be less enjoyable than others, but we’ll make the best of whatever happens! Here is an official list of all the US Air Force bases in the World. They are everywhere, from Hawaii, to Alaska, to Idaho, California, Tennessee, Mississippi, Germany, New York, Utah, New Mexico, Washington, you name it. We have no indicator of where we’ll go. Supposedly they allow us to make a list of our top picks, but there’s no guarantee we’ll even get one of our picks. So we’re content to see what happens! EXCITING! Clark says I’ll be setting an amazing example for the kids. Hopefully that’s true. I’ll truly feel like I’ve accomplished the impossible though, that’s for sure. I’m fairly confident I’ll be the only 26-year-old female at basic training that’s had 4 children. If I meet another that fits that description, I’ll be sure to let you know. On top of a steady income, a guaranteed job, and the opportunity for Clark to focus solely on school and the kids, we would get a monthly housing allowance and medical insurance. Utah is very different from Washington in that it’s almost impossible to get state help when it comes to food and medical. That’s not entirely a bad thing, but not a single person in my family has ever had medical insurance at the same time in the 4½ years Clark and I have been married. I had it while I was pregnant with Brynlee, and of course the surrogacy insurance was just for me. Right now the girls are covered, but not Clark nor I. The worst of it has been the fact that in 4 ½ years, Clark has never had medical insurance. Even if a company offered it, we could never afford it. And he’s had so many different medical problems. He got parasites from river rafting in Idaho but we didn’t know what was wrong. Medical bills through the roof. Just recently we thought he was having a serious appendix problem, and he stayed overnight in the hospital with no insurance. More medical bills. Luckily his gallbladder was removed right before we were married, because that was also a major surgery. (these are just to name a few) Our family desperately needs consistent medical coverage, and the military can offer that. Our income in the Air Force will be more than it is now. Not to mention all the added benefits. They say it’s a million times safer to live on base. No one gets on or off the base without having a clearance. Schools are safer, neighborhoods, etc. Just about everything on base is tax exempt. The grocery store, the gas station, the movie theater. If we lived on base, then I’d be two minutes from work without a commute. We go back and forth about whether or not we’d want to actually LIVE on base, but we won’t really decide that until we know where we’re going. We would also get a food allowance. So many benefits… nothing can compare.

People have asked us if we have a plan in case the military doesn’t work out. Yes we do. It’s another good option for our family, but Clark and I both feel very strongly that we should see the Air Force through to the end. If it doesn’t work out, I know we will be devastated. We will have worked so very hard. But we will pick up the pieces and keep moving forward, as always. But we really do want this to work out more than anything.

This is how the Air Force all came to be… and where we’re really at with the whole thing:

On Friday, March 1^st of 2013, just under 5 months ago, our little family was driving up to Ogden to celebrate Brionna’s 6^th birthday with Clark’s parents. It’s about an hour drive, and for some of the drive, I thought about our situation. We had just miscarried after our second surrogacy attempt a few weeks before. We had decided to pursue a second surrogacy journey to not only help another family, but to better our financial situation for another year. When the surrogacy didn’t work out, Clark and I just didn’t know what we were going to do. Then I started to think, “Surrogacies just buy us a year. They just give us that crutch for 9 months or so, but as soon as we have the baby, we are right back to where we started.” Does that make sense? We needed a long-term plan. We always knew we needed a long-term plan, but what else can you do besides work on your degree? I tried to get into photography. I spent more than a year learning. I slowly improved, but it certainly didn’t bring in a consistent income. Not anything that would even remotely help supplement our income. (However, I love photography more than anything and still do it on the side) So as we were driving, I started thinking about how unbelievably far we still had to go, how much easier things might be if we had some financial relief. Long-term financial relief. The idea of ME joining the military had come across my mind a time or two prior to this drive. But each time I briefly considered it, I immediately brushed it off and thought; “There’s no way in hell. I probably COULDN’T even do it. Besides, Clark would NEVER EVER go for it. NEVER. Nuh-uh. No. Not a chance. Nope.” It was a very unrealistic thing to consider. One that momentarily made me wonder, “Well if Clark can’t, then maybe I could. Not because I want to, but because I need to.” We passed several billboards. A Marines billboard. A National Guard billboard, and eventually Hill Air Force base. We were ten minutes away from his parent’s house when I said, (ever so softly and hesitantly) “What if I joined the military?” I closed my eyes waiting for a booming, “NOT A CHANCE! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!”? Clark looked over at me, studied me for a moment or two, and said, “Are you serious? Like seriously serious? Because I’ve been having the same thought for a while now… I just thought you’d never EVER go for it in a million years!” I was shocked! I’ll never forget this conversation. I explained that I didn’t necessarily WANT to be in the military, but I could do it if I had to. If it meant taking so much of the burden off his shoulders and giving our family a more stable future. Whether it was just to get him through the next 6 years of school, or if it was a permanent thing. Why not? Having this conversation 10 minutes before we got to his parents house was the worst thing in the world. We had this new and exciting thought that hadn’t been fully thought through. We still had so many ideas and thoughts to bounce back and forth. We didn’t have a computer handy. We couldn’t call any kind of military hotline (they do exist if you thought I just made that up) because it was after 5pm on a Friday. We certainly weren’t going to hash things out over dinner and a trip to buy an easy-bake oven when we didn’t know if this was even a possibility or if it was a good idea at all. My mind was spinning. My heart was racing. It was terrifying to even consider. Yet exciting, dangerous, exhilarating, empowering, impossible, new, and yet maybe possible. On the drive home that night, we agreed that we needed to see this through as much as we could. Because Clark had dealt with several branches quite a bit already, he knew roughly where to start.  I needed to take the ASVAB (Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery exam), which is a placement, and qualifications test to determine whether or not you can enlist, and what your jobs can and cannot be. But that wasn’t even the beginning. The idea of basic military training was terrifying. I could barely walk up 3 flights of stairs to my 3^rd story apartment. I just finished my 4^th pregnancy (baby Spencer) only 8 months earlier (to the day). I just had the miscarriage from our second attempt at surrogacy, followed by a D&C surgery, about a month earlier. Good grief. I was insane to even think this was a possibility. But the idea of surviving basic training (or boot camp) in my future was looming over me. So the very next day, I got my gym membership. Boom. March 2^nd. 

    We got what we could out of Google that weekend. We actively started looking into whether or not I could even join the military. The Navy and the Air Force seemed like a good place to start. I started calling recruiters on Monday. Big red flags started popping up left and right. When you call a recruiter, they do an initial screening over the phone. They ask you all sorts of questions. Everything from your age, did you graduate high school, how many speeding tickets/law violations have you had in your lifetime, to any medical conditions of any kind. They want to know if you’ve ever had a surgery. How many dependents you have (which includes children and spouses) and so on and so forth. These are what my red flags consisted of. First, I technically had 4 dependents. (all 3 children and Clark) Some branches only allow you to enlist if you have 1 or 2 dependents. Sometimes a branch will allow you to have a special dependency waiver that will let you slide with 3 dependents. But no recruiter I talked to had ever seen a waiver approved for 4 dependents. That was a bit unsettling. The next was speeding tickets. Anyone who knows me knows that I have a bit of a lead foot. It seemed like I got a speeding ticket a month back in Washington. Obviously that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but I had a few speeding tickets under my belt nonetheless. The Navy made it sound like you couldn’t have more than 10 traffic violations in your life. The Navy recruiter didn’t seem very helpful after he heard I might have exceeded that number (even though I didn’t actually know the exact number) Then there was the matter of my age. Different branches have different maximum age requirements. But I’m cutting it close with the Air Force. The maximum age is 27, and I’ll either turn 26 while I’m in basic training, or I’ll turn 26 before I even leave. Another red flag was my carpal tunnel surgery. Not a single recruiter for any branch knew whether or not the carpal tunnel surgery would disqualify me. This was gray area that we needed clarified ASAP. The next was the fact I didn’t graduate high school. Turns out you cannot enlist in any branch of the US Military without a high school diploma, unless you have a GED followed by at least 15 college credits. Well I had a GED, but I only had 8 college credits from a community college semester up in Washington. Then there was the matter of the ASVAB exam. (You know, that test that would determine the rest of my life)

I’ll explain how the ASVAB works and why it’s so important. The ASVAB is an aptitude test with 9 different categories.

-General Science

-Arithmetic Reasoning

-Word Knowledge

-Paragraph Comprehension

-Mathematics Knowledge

-Electronics Information

-Automotive and shop information

-Mechanical Comprehension &

-Assembling Objects

All of these test categories are timed. 4 of the 9 categories make up what they call the AFQT score. These are arithmetic reasoning, word knowledge, paragraph comprehension and mathematics knowledge. This score can range anywhere from 1 to 99. Every branch will accept a different minimum score. The Army has always accepted as low as 31. The Air Force will accept as low as 36.  Marines 32, Navy 35, and so on. In special cases, you can get a waiver to allow you to enter certain branches if you scored below these minimum numbers, but it’s rare. Your AFQT score helps determine what jobs in the military you are qualified to do. If you don’t want to spend your time doing grunt work or cooking, then you want a decent score. By decent I mean, probably more than 60 or so. This AFQT score determines whether or not you enlist, but you also get composite scores, which determine how good you would be in certain job fields. (mechanical engineering, administration, general and electrical) For most enlistees that join right out of high school, they take the test, pass with at least the minimum score, and then go off to basic. It wasn’t that simple for me. In order to join the Air Force (the branch that was at the top of our list) I had to score a MINIMUM of 65 on my AFQT in order to even be considered. A 65!! This was because I had the GED and not the high school diploma. I was freaking out. I’m about average in everything that I do. It’s not like they said, “Hey Vanessa, you need to score at least a 35, any moron can score 35. Or a 45. Or a 55. Nope, I needed a 65. But if I wanted to qualify for better jobs, I needed something like a 70 or a 75! 65 to get in at all, 70-75 to get a decent job. I was freaking out.

Here’s what I knew. It was the beginning of March, and in the first week, we found out that I would need to be granted a dependency waiver for 4. I would need to pass the ASVAB with a 65 minimum because of the GED. I would need to procure another 7 college credits. I would need to obtain driving records. I would need to secure medical records for my carpal tunnel surgery AND a letter from the surgeon clearing me for active duty, AND I would need to be at minimum physical standards by the time I entered into basic training. Minimum physical standards mean,

as a female, I would need to be able to run

2 miles in 22 minutes and 43 seconds, 

1.5 miles in 16:01, 

21 push-ups in 1 minute

and 38 sit-ups in 1 minute. 

Yeah right. At this point, I couldn’t even run ½ a mile at all. I could barely do 8 push-ups (and they DO NOT accept girly “on your knee” push-ups) and my abs were still separated from having children, given the fact I never attempted to get into any kind of shape before, during or after having children. So I could do like 10 legit sit-ups (where your feet stay on the ground and you bring your elbows to your thighs) this really was starting to seem impossible.

They say that a recruiter will tell you whatever they have to in order to get you to sign on the dotted line. I made it my mission to find a good, honest, hard working recruiter. I started calling recruiters in and out of my area, and I was giving them hypothetical questions to gage how honest they were about answering them. I told them I was in another state, but IF I were to do A, B and C, what would that mean for me? When they don’t think they have anything to gain (because you’re in another state) they’ll answer more honestly. I ended up contacting a recruiter in the Salt Lake area that was very consistent and honest in how he helped me. He was willing to answer all my questions. The recruiter in Provo didn’t seem to take me very seriously. He made it seem impossible to procure the dependency waiver. I don’t think he wanted to put the work into signing me. I was very confident in my ability to weed out the weaker recruiters. The recruiter I secured was very realistic with me. He was confident we could do A, B & C, but he would not venture a guess as it pertained to X, Y & Z.

So our work began.

I ordered all my driving records from Utah, Idaho and Washington. Turns out I only had like 4 tickets in the last 5 years on my record, and the Air Force will allow speeding tickets as long as you haven’t received 6 within the last 365 days. We were good to go on that.

We had to get me enrolled in school. I wouldn’t qualify for FAFSA unless I took a full semester with at least 12 credits, even though I only needed 7. Yuck.

I had to get to the minimum physical standards for basic training, (surviving basic training is a sure fire way to get motivated and get in shape btw)

I had to get two official transcripts from the community college in Washington. One for the recruiter and one for Utah Valley University (the new school I’d be attending for one semester.)

I had to contact Washington attorneys, and find out how my joining the military would affect my visitation with my 10 year old son (who lives in Washington most of the year.) We got consistent feedback from all attorneys. We were told to notify Taylor’s dad and step-mom of our endeavors when we were reasonably sure it would work out. We were given a lot if information based on our custody arrangements. Clark and I of course had to consider all possible scenarios when it came to all my children and my time away from our family in the future. (Which is something I’ll eventually address)

I had to send for Clark’s birth certificate and Taylor’s social security card since those were the two documents that went missing.

We had to get the adoption paperwork together regarding Clark adopting Brionna.

We had to draft a letter to the Air Force regarding our request for a waiver.

They had to run a credit check to ensure that we hadn’t filed for bankruptcy, and that we weren’t in collections for anything. The credit check also plays a big part into our dependency waiver.

I had to officially apply for the Air Force, which was a job application on steroids. It was a 17 page application detailing my job history for the last 6 years, my residential history for the last 7 years, all my medical history, information on Clark and our family, Clark’s parents, my parents, my siblings, and so on. It took me like 2 weeks to fill this bad boy out. It was exhausting.

We bought several ASVAB study guides. They were massive books the size of phone books. The information these books covered was so vast that it was completely impossible to study and prepare for everything.

My summer semester was slowly approaching, and I had very little to choose from in regards to classes being offered during times I was able to attend.

I had to take a placement test in order to attend the University. I ended up in a 4-credit math class, two online classes, a Friday night Zumba class, and a Fitness for Life class way the heck out in Spanish Fork.

Between studying for the ASVAB, getting together all necessary documents, attending school full time, getting ready for Taylor to come for the summer, staying in contact with my recruiter, working out consistently 6 days a week to ensure I was at minimum standards for basic, anxiously waiting on a dependency waiver, making a million phone calls, and whatever else I left out, I was a walking disaster for the better part of 5 months. I was pressed for time. Our goal was to leave for basic training sometime before the end of 2013, but my recruiter couldn’t even start the process until I took the ASVAB. Yet I was absolutely terrified of taking the ASVAB. It’s not as simple as “don’t score well, retake the test.” No, I had one shot if we even remotely wanted to keep our timeline. All my spare time was dedicated to studying for this test. I still had my kids and family to take care of. People were still requesting photo shoots, and while the easy thing to do would have been to turn them away, we always needed the money. My semester kicked my butt. We had some of our very best friends surprise us from Washington and spent a nice long weekend with them. Then we decided to have a big family vacation to Disneyland before my son went back to Washington. This family vacation was mainly planned due to the fact that mommy would be leaving for some unknown amount of time, and we wanted one last big hoorah before I left. My awesome parents and siblings joined in on the trip, which was wonderful because I wanted to see them before I left for basic training as well!  This way I didn’t have to figure out a trip up to Washington. We spent an entire week in California, between Disneyland, California Adventures, Knotts Berry Farm, and the beach! It was a total blast but was just one more thing on my list of things to take care of. Last, I did not want to end up getting pregnant while pursuing this whole thing. I was going to be pissed if I worked this hard, just to end up getting pregnant right before basic training. Getting pregnant would squash all of this in an instant. That couldn’t happen. So I raced out to have the 5-year IUD put in. (This took place like March 7^th) With a little luck, we won’t get pregnant with the IUD. I was also proactive, and started doing as much research as humanly possible to prepare myself for the Air Force. From basic training, to tech school to being stationed anywhere in the world. I started memorizing rank, the Air Force Creed and Song. Paying attention to the tiniest of details, so that I would be as prepared as possible for this enormous life change.

It was time to take the ASVAB.

The ASVAB was actually one of the first things that had to take place before my recruiter could officially start the process. I was scheduled to take this stupid test before my semester started on May 6^th, but I just wasn’t ready. I had been studying for 2 months at this point, but I kept pushing it further and further back. I didn’t actually take the ASVAB until May 28^th. Everything was on the line and depended on my scores. EVERYTHING. Our future, our life, our family. Every time I turned a page in my study guide, there was something new that I didn’t know. But I needed to know it in case I was tested on it. I got 3 weeks into my semester at school, and was a nervous wreck about the test. I desperately needed to take it so we could get this going. Our dependency waiver was projected to take A LOT of time, so we needed to hurry. Yet I couldn’t stand the thought of taking this test. Then it started keeping me up at night. I started having a nervous breakdown. I got to a point where I was going to completely fall apart if I didn’t just take the test and get it over with. It was time.

I was sick to my stomach the whole week leading up to the test. I didn’t sleep that night. I woke up the next morning and felt dizzy and faint. I was shaking and my heart was racing all day. There was only one other time in my life where I was this nervous, and that was the final day of my custody hearing. I was sweating. I thought my heart was going to beat right out of my chest.

It was also the day of Brionna’s kindergarten graduation, and the plan was that I would get to her graduation with Clark and Brynlee, and then I would leave early and head straight to MEPS. (Military Entrance Processing Station) I didn’t know how to get to the MEPS station in downtown Salt Lake, so I was risking getting lost. Clark and I got to Brionna’s school, and he could tell I was a total mess. He held my hand in the car and I told him once again how nervous I was. Then I snapped and just started bawling. If I didn’t pass this test with AT LEAST a 65, then everything would fall apart. I would let him down. I would let my kids down. I had never worked so hard for anything, but it all came down to what I scored on this test. He was so sweet and gentle and understanding. But this was on me. He couldn’t be there with me. This wasn’t another practice test where he could explain what I did wrong and help me get better. That’s the thing about Clark. He’s the smart one. He just took the damn test on a whim one day while talking to a Marines recruiter and scored a 91! A 91 I TELL YOU! He’s the one with the insane vocabulary and understanding of all things. My only strength is my math, but even still, it’s not like I’m in calculus. I promised him that I would do my very best. He never put any pressure on me. But I still knew that so much of his burden would be lifted if I could do this for our family. He kissed me. We went in for Brionna’s graduation. It was wonderful and we were so proud of her. Then it was time to go. Clark called his Dad and said, “Please pray for Vanessa, she’s on her way to take her test.” His Dad responded with, “Oh, she’ll do fine. No need to worry.” And Clark said, “Oh, I’m not worried about her passing. I’m worried about her passing out.”

I found MEPS. I pushed the buzzer, and a big guy in uniform came out and waved me down with a wand. When he went to buzz us both back in, the door stuck and they couldn’t admit us back into the building. We stood outside together for a good ten minutes, and he asked if I was there to take the ASVAB.

Then he said, “Don’t tell me, let me guess. Air Force?”

I said, “Yes how did you know!”

He said, “Air Force recruits are the only ones that are never escorted by their recruiter.”

I asked why that was, and he said, “I asked an Air Force recruiter once why they never escorted their recruits to MEPS. The Air Force recruiter responded by saying, “We figure if they’re big enough to join the Air Force, they’re big enough to come down on their own.”

I agreed with the logic and we had a good laugh.

We finally got admitted back into the building. There were two other girls in the building, but they were kinda scary. I mean, they were covered in tattoos, and had a mean look to them. Like “I wouldn’t want to meet them in a dark ally” kind of look. I thought, “Being in the military might do you some good, you look like a punk. Sorry, but you’re gonna have to take your nose ring, eyebrow ring, cartilage bar, and lip ring out for basic. I hope you know that.” Anyway, the men at the front desk couldn’t find me in the system. They searched and searched, but eventually gave up. They said, “If we can’t match your test scores to your name, then your test scores could get lost and you’d have to retake the test all over again.” I begged them to let me take the test. I wasn’t about to drive home and play this whole nervous-wreck-game all over again another day. They got an Air Force commander in the room and eventually got it sorted out. I was so relieved. But you have to realize. The door locking us out, and the fact that my profile just mysteriously disappeared in their system are both very typical circumstances for me. If something can go wrong, it will go wrong. Isn’t that Murphy’s Law? Maybe it’s just Vanessa’s Law. I wasn’t at all surprised. I was just waiting for the testing computer to crash on me too. I wouldn’t have been at all surprised.

Which reminds me… here’s how the test works. If you take the computerized version of the ASVAB at any MEPS facility, the questions get harder the more you answer them correctly. Awesome right?

You are not allowed to view your test results without your recruiter. Your scores are available immediately following the test, but they seal your results in a white envelope, and you have to wait to open them with your recruiter. Talk about torture. It’s like waiting to find out if you’re pregnant after an embryo transfer! (for those of you who understand that reference) My recruiter is awesome. He said, “I’m not gonna make you wait to see your results. As soon as you get in your car, call me and I’ll have you open your envelope with me on the phone. You will know your score right away.” Phew. I could handle that. 

I sat down at my testing computer with my #2 pencil and my scratch paper. I had memorized formulas, and equations. I memorized all the planets, and how cell DNA was made up. I memorized how engines work. How electrical currents work. I spent hours reading the dictionary. I practiced timed tests over and over for all the test categories. I studied stupid math story problems ‘til I was blue in the face. There wasn’t any space left in my brain for any more information. I was as ready as I was ever going to be.

  

I started the test. It asked me my first question. I breathed a sigh of relief because I actually knew the answer. Then I realized that it was just a practice problem to teach you how to answer the questions on the test. It was a dummy question. Nothing compared to the real questions. The ASVAB was THE HARDEST test I’ve ever taken in my life. I worked through my problems, and then I reworked them again just to be sure. It was so hard, and a lot of the material was stuff I had never studied! I was getting so discouraged and I felt like I didn’t know any of the material. I thought for sure I was bombing the test. At one point I decided to just start randomly clicking multiple choice answers because I just didn’t think I could do it anymore. Then I thought to myself, “I promised Clark I would do my very best. I have to keep working through them one by one. I promised him I’d do my very best.” I never thought the test was going to end. It was like 2 ½ hours long. Then when I was finally finished, the instructor made me start some new test that asked me all sorts of random questions like, “Are you more likely to cheat on an exam, or steal from the supermarket? In high school, would you say you were more of a bully or the class clown because you didn’t care about authority? What do you hate more? Taking orders or working as a team? Would you rather work alone and leave your team members behind, or tell everyone you think you’re better than them.” WHAT!!!? What the @#%! kind of questions are these?! I wouldn’t do any of those things! I guess you were supposed to pick the lesser of the two evils or something. But sometimes I couldn’t decide which one was worse. It was a gruesome test and did nothing for my nerves. At the end of the test, the instructor whispered, “That test only matters if you’re joining the Army.” Well ok then. Give me my freaking white envelope and I’ll be on my way. Thanks.

I walked towards the entrance. A man in uniform walked in and he saw my envelope and said, are those your ASVAB scores? Do you want to open it with me and I can explain your scores to you? I thought, “I’m about to open my envelope in about 30 seconds with my recruiter on the phone, so what the heck! The guy was Army. I opened my envelope and he smiled. 

“YOU KILLED IT! YOU GOT AN 85!” he beamed! “That’s an awesome score! And I’m not familiar with the way the Air Force does their composite scores when it comes to your sub categories (like admin, or electrical or whatever) but I’m pretty sure there is only one job in the whole Air Force you aren’t qualified to do!”

I thought to myself, yeah well, you’re not Air Force. You said you didn’t know how they scored, so you probably don’t know what you’re talking about.” I wasn’t quite that cynical, but that was the gist.

I was stoked about my 85. I almost started crying. I ran to my car and called my recruiter’s cell phone right away. He didn’t answer.   AAAHHH!! I called again. He FINALLY answered.

“Sergeant, it’s Vanessa. I have my scores here.”

“Well open it up! At the bottom of the page you will see your AFQT score. What does it say?”

“85 Sergeant.”

“YOU ROCKED IT Vanessa! What a fantastic score! Read me your composite scores along the Air Force line.”

“Mechanical -78   Admin -88   General -83  Electrical -71 Sir”

“Vanessa, there is only ONE job in the Air Force you aren’t qualified to do!”

  

I couldn’t believe it. I told him I’d be in touch. I had a million texts from Clark. “What’s taking so long?” “How did it go?” You’ve been gone for like 4 hours!”

I called Clark. I told him everything that had happened and then I told him my scores and what my recruiter had said. I told him I got an 85!! He started laughing. I wish I could have thrown my arms around him that very moment. I was all alone in my car in the rain but I was so proud of myself. I did it. I really did it. Every time the questions got harder, it was because I was still answering them correctly! All that studying had paid off. The tutoring from my awesome brother-in-law. (thank you, Todd) The math class I’d started that semester. I did it.

Clark wanted to go out to celebrate. We went to Tucanos Brazilian Grill and had a great evening. I slept like a baby that night.

We also celebrated a different way that same week. You see, studying for the ASVAB was ridiculously hard. I pushed my brain to it’s ultimate capacity in a short time and it stressed me out for a solid 3 months to the point of a nervous breakdown. You have to understand: Most tests, whether they are for college, or for work, are based upon certain material that you’ve covered, and the test is designed to see if you did in fact learn the material that was taught. With the ASVAB, there is no official study guide that mimics the official test. There isn’t a certain amount of material I was supposed to learn. It wasn’t going to determine if I did in fact absorb that specific material. No. The ASVAB is this big mysterious test with random questions that they pull from this invisible pool of questions. You can Google ASVAB practice questions, and quiz yourself all day long. I’ve repeatedly taken every ASVAB practice test there is to take online multiple times, and then we paid for additional programs that had practice tests. I studied several different “official guide books.” All of the material, from general science, to vocabulary, to math, varied so much. I guess my point is that there is no set material you can study for this test. In my opinion, the real ASVAB was a hundred times harder than any practice test I ever took. I studied and memorized everything I possibly could.  Like I said before, very few things in my life were as important as this test, and it was the hardest test I ever studied for or took. Once we had our 85 and celebrated with Tucanos, I needed to symbolically rid myself of one of the demons that had tortured me for a quarter of a year!

So we did SMORES -The Awesome Way.

My recruiter gave me a list of all the jobs in the Air Force that I qualified for. Here’s how that’s all supposed to work. When you join the Air Force, (or any branch for that matter) and you have to be granted any kind of waiver, then the Air Force is “doing you a favor” by allowing you to join because they granted you this waiver. If you need a waiver of any kind, the Air Force can say, “We are doing you a favor. We will let you join on certain conditions.” So far, here are my conditions:

-I must commit to at least 6 years in the Air Force

-I must be open to doing the jobs in the military that they want me to do. I don’t necessarily get to pick what I want to do.

Clark and I were fine with those conditions from the beginning. We would be fine with an even longer time commitment. For us, 6 years gets Clark through his Masters degree. If they required a 10 year commitment, we’d be fine with that too.

As far as my job goes, this is how my recruiter explained it:

“It’s different for people who need a waiver because they broke a law or have some sort of criminal record that needs waived. When we allow these people to join, IF we allow them to join, they do it on the condition that if we need a cook, you’re a cook. Like it.” Supposedly it’s different for a waiver where I haven’t done anything wrong. I didn’t do anything wrong by getting married or having kids. So my waiver still requires that I be open to jobs they need, but they are going to ask that I take a job that I tested into. A job where someone with an AFQT score of 85 is going to be comfortable, rather than being drug through the mud, simply because they were “granted a waiver.” Does that make sense?

Waiver for people that broke the law = doing whatever the military wants them to do.

Waiver for people who didn’t do anything wrong = you still do what the military would like you to do, but they want you to be in a place you scored into.

At least that’s the idea.

So he gave me a list of every job in the Air Force (people ask this question a lot, so I’ll clarify something. You have to have a degree to be a pilot, so a pilot is not on the list.) There are tons of jobs on this list. I am not allowed to choose anything medical related. This is supposedly because the Air Force does not need anything medical related and they aren’t recruiting in this area. From nurses, to medical assistants, to ultrasound technicians. This is totally fine with me because I have absolutely ZERO interest in working in any kind of medical field whatsoever. No thank you. I have no desire to work in that industry ever. Not for me. Anyway, from this job list, I have to compile a list of 12-15 jobs that I am interested in doing. Obviously the top 5 on my list are jobs I’d REALLY like, and so on. I am to turn this list into MEPS on the day of my physical. Then they match my list up to a list of jobs they are currently in need of. If they really need a “police officer” in the Air Force, (which is security forces) and that job happens to be on my list, then I will supposedly get matched up faster and off to basic training sooner. Because I want to get things going ASAP, I want to be matched up fast. I want my list of jobs to be things that they really need, but I also want my list to be things that I wouldn’t mind doing for a minimum of 6 years, but possibly for the rest of my life. Does that make sense? I technically “qualified” to be a mechanical engineer, but I HIGHLY HIGHLY doubt I could be a mechanical engineer. Well let’s be honest. I CAN’T be a mechanical engineer. So I would be stupid to put it on my list, even though I know they are currently looking to fill mechanical engineer jobs. (let it be understood that if they want me as a mechanical engineer, even if it’s not on my list, and that’s where they decide to put me, then so be it.) The list of jobs that are in demand is very vague, and is always changing. All my recruiter knows is that they are supposedly looking for security forces, mechanical engineers, electricians, and intelligence positions. The only job that they are supposedly looking for that I am even remotely interested in is an intelligence position, so the first 4 or 5 jobs on my list are intelligence positions. I think the first is the Linguist Intelligence position, followed by the Imagery Analysis Intelligence position, or something to that affect. These are on my list not only because I’d like to do them, but because they are supposedly in demand, therefore there is a good chance I’ll get matched up faster. Intelligence can be very valuable if I ever work on the civilian side. Having a security clearance alone would make me extremely valuable. After the intelligence jobs, I have jobs like Aviation Operations Management and photographer on my list. Obviously these aren’t in demand, and they aren’t going to get me where I want to be anytime soon. There is no guarantee I’ll even get any of the jobs on my list, and I have to be okay with that. It will be very interesting to see how this all pans out.

So I rocked the ASVAB. I survived my semester and have all the credits necessary to join the Air Force. All the paperwork has been pushed, credit check approved, etc. We are down to the nitty-gritty of this whole process. Once my dependency waiver is approved, I will have to have my physical down at MEPS.  When my recruiter sent my medical documents for my surgery off to whoever looks at them, they came back and told me that they would want to evaluate my carpal tunnel in person at my physical. But like I said, I can’t have my physical until the dependency waiver goes through, so it’s all a big waiting game.  I’m told the US Military is a lot of “hurry up and then wait” thus far, I’d have to agree.

  

By the time my dependency waiver finally started making real progress, it had been submitted for over a month and a half. We were at Disneyland (on the 11th) when I got a voicemail from my recruiter telling me the waiver had been sent to the Lieutenant Colonel. But it wasn’t until the 17^th that he called again and said the Lieutenant Colonel wanted a personal phone interview with me. He prepped me for my phone interview, and on the 18^th, I called her directly. The interview was pretty much a lot of explaining our reasons for joining the Air Force, what I felt like I would bring to the Air Force, making sure we understood what life in the Air Force would mean for my spouse and children, what I wanted to do in the Air Force, and what I’ve done so far to prepare. She was very business like, but very easy to talk to. She said that I might have to have a phone interview with her commander, and that she didn’t know what the time frame on that would look like. She told me to tell my family she said hi. Then the phone interview was over.

The next day I talked to my recruiter. He told me that passing the waiver on to her commander is just a formality, and that he’s never EVER seen a waiver denied once the Lieutenant Colonel approved it. He doubt’s I’ll even need a second interview. Because it’s just a formality, if she has signed off, then her commander almost always signs off as well, automatically. My recruiter then told me that she had in fact approved my waiver, and had nothing but fantastic things to say about me! My recruiter is confident that we have the waiver, for all intensive purposes, since the Lieutenant Colonel approved it. Whooo! We were so excited! This means that if we do in fact get the waiver (assuming it will automatically be granted since the Lieutenant Colonel has approved it) then the last official thing that will need to be done is my physical! Because this dependency waiver was one of the biggest obstacles, we weren’t comfortable announcing our big news until we were reasonably sure this was going to work out. Once we got the Lieutenant Colonel’s approval, we were ready to notify Taylor’s dad and step-mom. Now it’s time for me to share my news with all my friends! 

Here’s what’s left:


-Get the FINAL approval for the dependency waiver

-Have my physical down at MEPS (we think my physical will probably take place some time in August)

-Once at my physical, I am supposed to give them an official date for when I can leave for basic.  Assuming my physical takes place in August, the soonest I think I’ll be ready to leave is September or October. This is where they will also ask for my list of 12-15 preferred jobs. They say that once I have my physical, I could leave as soon as my September/October date, or it could be as long as 6-8 months out before they have me matched up and ready to rock n’ roll. I might not even ship out ‘til April or May (ish.) I am told that I might not even officially have a job when I leave for basic. They might not assign me a job until I’m actually in basic.  Which is kinda scary, but I’ve already come to terms with the fact it will be a while before I know what my future holds.

Clark and I were so excited to have the approval of the Lieutenant Colonel for my waiver. We have worked so hard to get here. From that first conversation on our way to Ogden on March 1^st, to registering for school, a full semester, talks with recruiters, all the paperwork and formalities, credit checks, letters, doctor’s appointments, phone calls, daily workouts, research, studying, tests, talks with Washington attorneys, and so on… we’ve come so far. Oh man… it’s been a long and busy 5 months. We finally feel like we’re past the tentative “we might be joining the Air Force, but we really don’t know if it will work out” stage, and are finally in the “we’re almost sure we’re joining the Air Force!” place.  We. Are. Super. Excited.

So here are the minimum standards for females going into basic training:  (these standards tend to vary depending on what chart you find online)

2 mile run                              22:43 (minutes)

1.5 mile run                            16:01 (minutes) 

Push-ups in 1 minute               21

Sit-ups in 1 minute                  38

Like I said before, push-ups are the big boy kind. I am terrified of not meeting physical standards. They say that when you decide to live an active lifestyle and exercise regularly for mental, physical and emotional benefits, you should find something that motivates you. I can say with certainty that surviving basic training is a good motivator to get your backside in shape. I always said that I would do ANYTHING to have a fit body. Flat stomach, toned arms and legs…. you know. I said I’d give my right arm. But as it turns out, I was never willing to give up the good stuff. The bread, pasta, and SUGAR. As I started becoming more physically active, I started paying more attention to what I was eating. Then I started reading labels and learning how your body reacts to everything. If that wasn’t enough, then I ended up enrolled in a Zumba class AND a Fitness for Life class, both of which hounded all aspects of fitness and wellness. It’s true. You can be scared straight. My whole lifestyle changed. I didn’t start small. Nope. We went big. Cleaned out all of our cupboards and refrigerator. Got rid of everything that had high fructose corn syrup and what not. Trans fats. Foods high in processed sugars. PRESERVTIVES and dyes. Completely renovated our lifestyle for the better. This wasn’t just me getting ready for basic training, this was a matter of keeping my family healthy and having good habits all around. While this transformation was taking place, I continued to work hard at the gym every day. I would do a little more research every day and see how I could improve my physical fitness. The one thing that kept slowing me down were these terribly crippling shin splints that I couldn’t get rid of. I would run anyway. I would push through them, but they only kept getting worse. They say it’s a common injury in new runners. But 2 months went by and they weren’t healing. When Clark and I were in Vegas, we had gotten me a brand new pair of Nike Dynamic Support somethin’ or other tennis shoes. They were good lookin’ shoes, and I ran in them everyday. A friend clued me in that the shin splints were probably coming from the shoes. So I went back to my old ugly tennis shoes, and within a week, I was all better. That’s not what I wanted to have happen. I didn’t want it to be my nice new shoes that were the problem! So we decided I needed good running shoes. We bought a brand new pair of Puma running shoes. They were even cuter than the Nikes! I loved them! Shin splints came back within 24 hours. It was awful. I have officially stuck with my ugly old lady tennis shoes, but it’s just not worth the injury. Once I got the shin splints under control (it only took upwards of 3 months) I continued pushing forward physically. I would set a new personal record for running or sit ups, and it would give me new energy and determination!

All the charts for the graduation standards for basic training vary a bit… but for the most part, the standards for graduation look like this:

(for females)

Liberator (minimum graduation standard)        

run 1.5 miles in 14:21       1 min timed push-ups: 27     

1 min timed sit-ups: 50      Pull ups: 0

Thunderbolt (honor graduate standard)

Run 1.5 miles in 12:00       1 min timed push-ups: 32     

1 min timed sit-ups: 55       Pull ups: 2

Warhawk (extraordinary –highest standard)

Run 1.5 mile in 10:55        1 min timed push-ups: 40     

1 min timed sit-ups: 60       Pull ups: 5

Some friends have scoffed at how easy a 1.5 mile run in 14:21 would be. But for those of you who don’t run, or for those of you who are inactive, it seems impossible, and it’s not as easy as they make it sound.

They say that at graduation, you get to spend Saturday with your loved ones. But if you earn the honor graduate award (which includes more than just physical standards) then you get an extra day pass and get to also spend Sunday with your spouse as well. I’d be happy with just graduating basic training at all… but I know I’ll want that extra day with Clark.  

Like I said earlier, when I started back at the beginning of March, I couldn’t run half a mile to save my life. I could do about 8 push-ups, and about 10 sit-ups. I’ve slowly watched these numbers improve. Here I am almost 5 months later, and I can roughly

Run a mile and a half in 13:30…

Do about 20-22 push-ups in 1 minute

Do about 40-43 sit-ups in a minute.

I am in between minimum standards for the start of basic, and minimum standards for graduation. My biggest concern is that my push-ups don’t seem to be improving much. My fear is that push-ups alone will hold me back. But I’m still working hard, and I have to remember that I’ll (hopefully) improve during basic training as well.

I went to do my first ever pull up maybe 2 months ago. I just hung there like I had noodles for arms. I couldn’t even get my chin up to the bar once. It was pathetic, and of course I wasn’t going to go into the gym to practice. I wasn’t going to go hang there struggling to get halfway up in front of other people. Are you crazy? No… my first attempt at a pull up was at the playground with my girls. Sad day… I knew there was NO WAY I’d ever make honors graduate.

My good friend had a pull up bar just lying around her house. It hangs in the doorway. She let me borrow it, and I can now do 2 legit pull-ups no sweat! (Shontel, you’re the best) Whoo! Honors graduate here I come? We shall see I guess….

At the end of my Fitness for Life Class, my professor offered extra credit for anyone who wanted to attempt the hydrostatic body composition test. It is the most accurate way to determine your body fat percentage, and it's an underwater test. The needle on my scale hadn’t changed in months, so I was feeling rather discouraged. I decided to go for it. I scheduled my test. I was told that 12 hours before the test, you couldn’t exercise, eat anything, or drink an excessive amount of water. It would dehydrate your body and throw off the results. You are supposed to empty your body of all fluids before the test, and wear a swimsuit that won’t hold air pockets. No jewelry. There are several ways to determine your body fat percentage. There is Bioelectric Impedance Analysis (BIA) which is a little machine that looks like a video-game control.   

 You enter in your weight, age, gender, etc, and you hold it out in front of you with both hands on the little machine. It sends a wave of electricity from one hand to the other, and it determines how long it takes to get to the other side. Supposedly, the more or less fat you have will affect how long it takes the wave of electricity to get from one hand to the other. That’s a rough explanation. There is a slight margin of error with these machines. 

You can also determine your body fat percentage by measuring your subcutaneous fat with calipers. (also a margin of error) 

 If you are real desperate, you can supposedly put your weight and measurements into a formula that will tell you if you’re average or not. Huge margin of error here. But in the end, the hydrostatic body composition test is the sure fire way to determine your body fat percentage. These underwater hydrostatic machines are hard to come by, so I jumped at the opportunity. The morning of my test, I got online to see what was acceptable, what was considered overweight and what was considered obese.

This is what I found for women:

-Athletes ranged from 14-20% body fat, which is considered elite, and it is unhealthy to drop below 14% body fat

-21-24% is considered perfectly healthy

-25-29% is considered overweight and average

-and anything above 30% is considered obese.

As I read through all the charts, I started to think, “I’ll be okay if I’m above 30. I know I’ve improved since March. Don’t beat yourself up too bad, you’ve only been at this for a little under 4 months now. You certainly aren’t going to be elite by any means.” My body certainly didn’t look how I wanted it to look.

I was prepared to receive my 28% or higher with a “keep moving forward” attitude.

The girl that was there to test with me was in this bikini. I was in my all black, make-me-invisible-swimsuit.

We had to weigh ourselves, and assess all our measurements. I was up first. 

I had to climb into this tank of warm water. 

(A Hydrostatic Body Density tank looks something like this)

  I sat in a little chair that sat in the water made out of hollow pipe. The chair was connected to a scale. You are supposed to breath ALL the air out of your body as much as humanly possible, and then lean forward and submerge yourself all the way under water. 

If there is ANY air left in your body, then it will drastically affect your results. I was told to practice pushing out ALL my air leading up to the test. They also told us that if you have a fear of water or cannot submerge your head under, then this test is not for you. They have you push out ALL your air and hold as still as possible under water for about 10-15 seconds while the person conducting the test watches the scale. You repeat the test at least 3 times as long as you’re getting consistent results, but if your results are all over the place, then they repeat the test up to 10 times and then average your most consistent scores. It’s funny, because human instinct tells you that you’re about to go under water, so you take in as much air as possible before you go under, which is totally counter productive because you have to spend that much more time pushing it ALL out. It’s hard to sit still when you’ve pushed out all your air. It hurts. It feels like you're suffocating and going to pass out. It feels like your lungs are going to collapse. I went under. They can’t take your weight until all the bubbles stop coming up. That means you're done pushing out your air. (and since you took a HUGE breath before you went under, you have to be really good at pushing your air out fast) You have to wait for the person conducting the test to bang on the side of the big metal tank signaling you to come back up. If you come up too soon, then you just wasted time. It feels like you’re going to die and he’s never going to bang on the tank! Finally. I came back up and he called out 61. I had no idea what 61 meant. (now I can assume it meant pounds) This number was not my fat percentage, he still had to plug it all into a formula to determine my body fat percentage. It was time for round two. I went under again, and pushed all my air out. 61 again. Ok good… that was pretty consistent. I needed a minute before I could go down again. Then I went under. I didn’t think I was going to make it this time. I started to move a little in the water because it hurt so bad. The boom on the side of the tank finally came. I came up and he called out 62. I was good and didn’t have to go again. The girl in the bikini climbed into the tank. She took FOREVER to push out all her air, and never got it completely out.  She moved a bit in the tank, and every time she came up, he’d call out a random number. 64, 59, 55, 62, 64, 60. She was all over the place. We went to dry off and change. When I came back, he had figured out my body fat percentage first. He said, “You’re between ___ and ___ .” But I must have misunderstood him. Maybe I didn’t understand what number I was looking for. It was nowhere close to 30. So I asked him to explain it to me. He said, “You’re between 21 and 22% body fat. That means if you go any lower, you are considered extremely athletic, and you can’t go lower than 14 or 15% without facing potential health risks.” I was shocked. I never got to hear the results of the other girl… but I didn’t care. My hard work was paying off! That needle on the scale didn’t move much because I was turning all my fat into lean muscle, which is heavier. He had me use the little Bioelectric impedance analysis test that sends a frequency of some sort through your body. He said he liked to do both tests to compare the margin of error. My number was 24% body fat, which gives you some idea as to the margin of error. It only gets worse as you do the more inaccurate versions of these tests. Anyway…. those are my results. I was on cloud 9 that day. Just more proof that getting up off your backside consistently is the only real way to get those results you want.

Between my body fat percentage, and my progress towards graduation standards for basic training, I’m doing pretty good. I think we got the dependency waiver in the bag for the most part. I need my physical. But the only things that I think could really stop us from enlisting with the Air Force at this point is if:

A)     For some totally unexpected reason, the Lieutenant Colonel’s Commanding Officer does not approve the waiver that she has already pushed through,

B)     They make my carpal tunnel surgery an issue at the time of my physical (which we just don’t foresee happening, but you know… Murphy’s Law) I can do anything and everything on my wrists. I have no restrictions, so hopefully there’s no issue. Or if something shows up in my physical that we are unaware of,

C) I get pregnant or get in some kind of accident that prevents me from joining. So let’s all knock on wood…

Basic training is 8 ½ weeks long. Once I graduate basic training, I will go straight into tech school without any leave. Other branches offer leave between the two, but not the Air Force. Everyone asks how long I’ll be gone. There is no way to project how long I’ll be at tech school, because it depends on my job. And I might not even know what my job will be ‘til I’m actually @ basic. But here’s a rough idea. I am told that intelligence tech school can range anywhere from 4 months all the way up to a year or more. IF I were to go into intelligence (which is possible) then who knows how long I’ll be gone. On top of basic training, it could be 6 months, it could be more than a year. Each job is so different, but you can go to the Air Force website to see more information on a specific job. Tech school for Personnel is like 26 days. That would be kind of like having a job in Human Resources. 26 days is nothing… so I really can’t project how long I’ll be gone. But it’s easier to just have a ballpark of about 6 months.

Basic Training is in San Antonio, Texas at Lackland Air Force Base. Tech school might continue at Lackland, or it could be somewhere completely different. Again, we won’t know where tech school will be until we know what my job will be.

I have seen and heard just about everything there is to see and hear about basic training. There are still more people I plan to talk to, but I have done my damndest to make sure I know what I’m getting myself into. I realize that no matter how much I prepare, I’ll probably get to basic training and on that first day think, “What the hell did I get myself into.” But that’s okay. I’ve overcome a lot in my lifetime, and it’s made me stronger. No matter what, I have to survive and graduate basic training. Our lives really do depend on it. I know that for some, they just don’t see how that’s the case, but that’s how I feel. Online at www.airforce.com, you can watch snid-bits of video about basic training and what to expect. When I am working out at the gym, I push myself as hard as I possibly can, knowing soon enough I’ll have a TI (training instructor) climbin’ up my ass doin’ his best to end me. I know I seem like this wife and mom, (which is all I’ve ever been) that will be heading off to boot camp. I was wearing pearls when I went into MEPS that day for my ASVAB, and those other girls were a little more “hard-core” than I would say I am. Don’t get me wrong; I am by no means a girly girl. If they tell me I’m gonna have to go 8 ½ weeks without makeup or hair products of any kind… I can do it. If I have to wear my hair in a stupid bun for the rest of my life, so be it. But I’m certainly not this uniform soldier walkin’ around. However, while I’m at basic, the majority of the recruits will be fresh outta high school, and fresh out of their parent’s basement. My recruiter even said, most of them have never had a real job, or dealt with authority, with the exception of their high school football coach. I may not be a soldier, but I’m more than just a mom. For those of you who might take offense to that, let me make myself clear. All I’ve ever wanted to be is a wife and mom. I have no desire to go to school and get an education. I have no desire whatsoever to have a career. I have always been perfectly content just taking care of my home. But at this point in my life, having this “job” is crucial. It is necessary. There really is no other option that offers as much as the military has to offer. I will do anything for my family. I will do what it takes to survive, and I will do anything for my husband. If I can lessen his burden and give us some stability until he is at least through school, then I’ll give it everything I’ve got. Nothing will stop me. And when I think about it that way, there is no question in my mind that I’ll survive basic training and become an Airman in the United States Air Force. I will march. I will run. I will push, drill, fight, obey, conform and succeed.  For my family. I might be “just a mom,” but I am stronger than anyone else that will be at basic training. My trials and struggles have given me that much. I am confident and I am ready.

We have slowly been leaking our endeavors to close friends and family. Most people at Church know now. A few emails have been sent to friends that were asked to be references. We were very careful to make it very clear that we were TRYING to join the Air Force, but we were still very unsure about whether or not it was actually going to happen. Everywhere we went, “I MIGHT be joining the Air Force. We’ll see. We’re hopeful. But we won’t know for months. Yes we have a backup plan. We need to see this through to the end.” Sometimes I got really positive and supportive feedback, but a lot of the time, I got a weak, “Oh wow… good luck. Let me know what happens…” It was as if they were saying, “Yeah we’ll see. Not likely.” I totally admit that it seems insane. It’s an incredible life change, one you don’t see every day. I think people’s biggest hold up is the idea that the mom stays home, the dad works. The dad goes off into the military, the wife doesn’t. And believe me, if it could be the other way around, then I wouldn’t be off trying to join the Air Force. But something clicked in my head that very first day when Clark and I discussed it. It felt right. It was right for us. For our family. No it’s not the everyday scenario. But what part of our life has been typical so far? When I had a baby at 14? When I had another baby at 18? When my son was taken from me in the nastiest custody battle of all time? When I met my husband while he was serving his mission? When we overcame hardship after hardship? When I carried and delivered a baby for another family? When I tried a second time and miscarried? The Air Force doesn’t seem so crazy when you look at it that way. We know this will take a tremendous amount of sacrifice. No one is debating that. I will have to leave my family for months at a time. Who knows how long basic training and tech school will be. But the Air Force deploys every two years for 6 months. I’m told that’s the standard. I could be gone longer, and in my application I have to recognize that I could be gone up to 365 days at a time. One of the biggest reasons I actually chose the Air Force was because of their shorter deployment time. Other branches are gone longer. I will be gone from my kids for long periods of time. I will be gone from my best friend. I will be deployed again and again. This will go on for at least 6 years, easily longer. I could go to dangerous parts of the world, it really depends on my job in the Air Force. I will have to survive basic training and tech school. Early mornings, vigorous, busy and long days, late nights, heat, TI’s, the works. It will probably be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. But the benefits are going to outweigh the sacrifices 10 to 1 in our mind. I look at what will be hard, but it is shadowed by the incredible life we’ll have ahead of us. The career. The stability. The future. The opportunity. The chance to travel. We’ll have a real home sooner than we ever would without. Medical insurance, a housing allowance. We might even end up with a free education, and a G.I. Bill for Clark’s student loans. For some of you, those things don’t seem like much. For those of you who blew through your degree, waited to have kids, or had financial assistance to get you through the hard parts, well then you might not understand. And some of you might really understand where we’re coming from. But for us, this means a whole new chance at life. A chance to achieve more and provide more for our family than we ever thought possible. When you ask me about those sacrifices I’ll be making, I’ll say, “I’m doing it for my family. My kids will understand when they’re older. They’ll know how I sacrificed so much so that they could have a better life. They’ll see how a marriage really works. How you live for your spouse, and no longer for yourself. How mommy was strong and brave.” I’ll tell you, “The sacrifices seem so small compared to the new life filled with stability and opportunity.” They say that in the military, everything is seen on a whole different scale. Everything is bigger. Your sacrifices are bigger, but your benefits are bigger too. As a matter of fact, I don’t see why more people don’t do this. When I told several people about the Air Force, I got an amazing response. I even had a friend who felt inspired to do the same, so she’s currently looking into joining the Army. But on the other hand, I got the feeling that people didn’t really believe I would or could do this. That’s probably the biggest reason I never officially announced the Air Force to anyone. Because I didn’t want people to sit back and think, “Yeah, we’ll see.” I wanted to be able to announce with some certainty, and I wanted to have enough effort under our belt that we really would be taken seriously. And now here we are :)

When we told the kids, their first reaction was a few tears. They thought Mommy joining the Air Force meant Mommy going off to war where she’d probably die. We explained to them what this would involve. We showed them pictures and videos. Talked every day and pointed out families who had a Mom or Dad in the military. Showed them that our life would still be relatively normal, and explained to them the good things that would come from the military. We explained that Mommy would be gone for periods of time, but Daddy would always be here, and that sometimes we do hard things because we have to. It’s not always fun, but good things come from hard work and faith. We explained that some parents have to go on business trips. Some parents have to work nights. Some families have to move around a lot. Every family is different, but we showed them how excited we were and how this is a positive thing. They began to understand over time and are completely on board. We were watching Transformers the other day, and you could see a US Air Force plane take off… they thought it was so cool. They love to help me learn the Air Force song. They understand why I work so hard at the gym. They feel like they are a part of the preparation and they are excited for the future we could have if this works out. Taylor knows that he might not see me for some time, if my basic training and tech school interfere with my visitation. He asked if he could still come and see Clark and his sisters while I’m gone. He knows that it will be hard for a short time, but it will ultimately be for the better. We told the kids that we’ll be in a position where they can be in baseball and soccer.  Do gymnastics and dance. We want to get a family puppy and live in new places. We’re awfully enthusiastic about the whole thing, and the kids are excited too. I told Taylor, “We might even end up living in Japan! It’s a long shot, but it could happen!” He responded with, “COOL! But wait! I can’t live in Japan! Mom, I gotta learn Karate!” haha. Too cute, right? Clark will most likely quit his job and stay home with the girls while I’m at basic.. We feel like there’s already going to be so much change in their life, we don’t really feel comfortable bringing someone like a nanny into our home full time and causing even more change to take place. We want someone in our home that loves our children the way we do, disciplines them the way we do, runs our home the way we do. Turns out, you can’t buy or hire that kind of help. So instead of Clark staying at work, he’ll come home and be Mommy and Daddy while I’m gone. And he’ll do a better job than any Daddy I know. I’ve talked to so many friends that have said, “I don’t think I’d feel comfortable leaving my husband with my kids full time. I don’t think he could handle it.” I trust Clark completely. He is just as dedicated to this as I am. He is willing to work through the hard parts. It will take sacrifice on his part as well, not just mine. He will have to learn a whole new lifestyle, just as I will. It will take patience. But he can do it, and he’s ready.

If I have to run in the desert waving around an M-16, army crawl uphill through sand, walk through a tear gas chamber without a gas mask, survive the obstacle course and Beast Week, learn hand to hand combat, be away from my family, go without make-up and hair products for months, learn to march, salute an officer and say “YES SIR,” in order to give my family and my husband the best future possible, then bring it on. Clark has taken on and endured so much to spend his life with me. He didn’t take the easy road. He is loving and dedicated and I’ll do anything to ease his burden and show him how grateful I am for him. He’s my miracle. He’s that guy that song was about… God Bless the Broken Road. No matter how rough the road has been with our financial struggles since we’ve been married, life with him is a thousand times better than it ever was before we met.

I’m truly excited about joining the Air Force. I feel this new sense of honor and pride, a new drive and dedication, a newfound sense of patriotism. It is terrifying and new, but exciting and good. For the first time in years, Clark and I both feel like we’re finally working towards something real, something that would finally make the difference. We aren’t content to live in an apartment, living paycheck to paycheck, in debt, with a go nowhere job, never experiencing life outside of a small town. We are reaching for the stars around these parts and we’re optimistic and determined. Excited and hopeful! If this doesn’t work out, I’ll be devastated. But we’ll pick up the pieces and keep moving forward. At the end of the day I’ll say, “As long as we have our little family and the Gospel, it doesn’t matter where we go or what we do. We’ll be ok.”

So there you have it. The LONG and the short of it… (without the short parts of course) We are going to spend July and August waiting for the final parts of our dependency waiver. Then we’re going to pray that we have no hold ups with my physical, and then we wait for a ship date after that. As I prepare for the Air Force, I’m also frantically trying to make sure things are in perfect order for Clark and the kids while I’m gone. I don’t want to be thinking like a mom and wondering if everyone has clean socks when I’m trying to survive basic training. I need to leave knowing they’ll be okay. It doesn’t help that I’m completely OCD about things. Really doesn’t help at all…

I’ll post updates here on my blog, along with all of life’s goings-on… not just the parts about the Air Force. Wish us luck, and for those of you who have not only been outwardly supportive, but genuinely supportive even when we weren’t looking, thank you. 

We love you