My goal here is to not be
typing ALL DAY. So I’m starting with the highlights from my adventures at MEPS
last week… (some of you have briefly heard these highlights on facebook)
First, I REALLY wanted to
enlist as an E-2. An E-2 is going to get paid more right off the bat, compared
to an E-1, not to mention the fact that I’ll already be higher in rank than
those starting out. The only way I was going to be able to enlist as an E-2 was
if I had at least 20 college credits. I had worked hard during my summer
semester to make this happen, but then I was told that one of my classes didn’t
count because it was a pre-college level class. So I didn’t have 20 credits, I
only had 16. We were bummed when we got the news, but made our peace with it
and decided we were just grateful that we had enough credits to enlist at all.
We were going to take what we could get at this point. By the time I met with
the Air Force liaison at the very end of my very long day, he insisted that I
actually had 23 college credits and that I was in fact enlisting as an E-2! I
told him that he had better be damn sure before he got my hopes all up… (he had
a great sense of humor) He collaborated
with other liaisons, and they unanimously agreed that I did in fact have enough
credits to enlist as an E-2. On top of a housing allowance, food allowance and
medical insurance, the income of just starting out as an E-2 is huge for us. We’re
tickled pink right now.
Another highlight was when I
actually passed my physical. We thought for sure that I would be disqualified
halfway through the day. We thought that I would have to schedule an
appointment with an orthopedic surgeon who would need to clear my carpal tunnel
surgery and wrists. That would take another month or two, so once again, I made
my peace with it. I’ll go into detail about my physical for those who want to
read about it, but at the end of the day, the doctor gave me the green light,
and I was walking around with a smile from ear to ear.
Another highlight…. Oh, the official score for my DLAB (Defense
Language Aptitude Battery) was 117!! They recently changed the minimum score to
105 instead of 100 for Air Force (which I didn’t even know going in to take my
test) but you have to score a 110 in order to qualify for the level IV
languages like Arabic or Mandarin. I was SUPER excited about my 117! That was
huge.
Then, at the end of the
second day, they had me sign my contract and swear in! It was surreal. You can
have family there when you swear in, but I wasn’t worried about it, since I’ll
have another swear in before I leave for basic training. Family can all come to
that one. We got a crash course on stances, like the Parade Rest stance, and
Attention, before a Captain came and swore us in. We had to be willing to say
the words, “God and Swear.”
“I, Vanessa Amundson, do
solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United
States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith
and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of
the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me according to
law and regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God.”
This flood of emotion came
over me as I swore in, along with 3 other recruits. It was pretty intense.
When the day was over, I
called Clark to tell him I needed him to come pick me up, but I couldn’t talk.
It wasn’t until I got in the car with him that I told him all the highlights of
the day! He was just as excited as I was, and we were both just in awe that
things had gone so well. We were officially in! We’d passed the physical
without hold ups, and I was an E-2! Not to mention the fact we were thrilled
about the DLAB score. It was a good day.
Those were the highlights of
my two days that I had so anxiously prepared for. I of course told Clark every
little detail, as I will also do with my blog. I don’t want to forget any of
it. Feel free to read further. I will talk about the first day, including the
DLAB and my arrival at the hotel, all that I saw and heard and felt, day two
with the physical from hell, and all that led up to me signing my contract and
swearing in. At the very end, I elaborate a little on what’s next…
So on Monday, Clark drove me
to my recruiter’s office, where I introduced the two of them to one another.
Clark had never met my recruiter in person before. He helped me carry my
overnight bag in, and kissed me goodbye. My recruiter went over a bunch of
paperwork with me and gave me a quick rundown of what to expect over the next
two days. That’s when we talked about
the fact that I would probably get dq’d at my physical because of the carpal
tunnel surgery, and would probably have to continue dragging this out even
further. We talked quite a bit, and I asked lots of questions. He had a
recruiter’s assistant there, who had just recently finished his course at DLI
(Defense Language Institute) in Monterey. (one of my top goals) This assistant
was going to be the one driving me to MEPS for the DLAB. I was told to pick his
brain and glean as much information as possible from him along the way :)
We hit the road, and I did in
fact pick his brain the whole way to MEPS. Turns out he learned PASHTO, a
middle eastern language also known as Afghan. He scored a 109 on the DLAB, and
barely made it into a level IV language before they changed the minimum to 110.
He dropped me off at MEPS,
and I went through security before turning in my paperwork and waiting to take
the DLAB. I was definitely nervous about the test because I wanted to do well.
I had only really studied what was available to study for about a week, which
wasn’t very long at all. But during the test, I was really calm. I was going to
take my time (as much as I could on a timed test) and I was going to work
through what I could and just do my best. At least this test wasn’t going to
keep me out of the Air Force altogether, like the bloody ASVAB. The DLAB really
was tough. All these rules to a made up language… it was hard to keep them all
straight. It was pretty brutal, but I still hated the ASVAB more. When I was
done, the testing instructor printed my results and whispered, “This score
isn’t good at all. It’s embarrassing really….” I rolled my eyes at him and told
him I’d been around his sense of humor long enough to know better. 117 baby.
I’ll take it.
He returned my cell phone to
me that had been locked up in another room. There were lots of other recruits
in the waiting area that were still waiting to A) get their cell phones, so
that they could B) call their recruiters and open their ASVAB scores, and then
C) get on the shuttle for the hotel. Poor kids were dying. They were holding
their envelopes but had no way of opening them to find out their scores. I was
the only one with a phone, so I started looking up all their recruiter’s
numbers on Google. Some Navy, some Marines, but mostly Army. One at a time,
they made their calls and opened their envelopes. A few of them got great
scores. Mostly in the 80’s, and one Navy kid got a 90. Some Army kids scored in
the 40’s but they didn’t care. They were just glad to pass. The Marine kid
called his recruiter, but his recruiter wanted him to wait til he got there.
Poor kid couldn’t stand it. That’s when we started holding the white envelope
up to the light trying to see his score. Haha… I finally found his 89 as I held
the envelope up to the light. He was stoked. And his recruiter never even
showed! We all sat around talking and getting to know one another while we
waited for the last kid to finish testing. They were almost all 19, with the
exception of the 21-year-old Marine, and a 25 year old Army kid who didn’t know
when to shut up. There were probably 10 of us altogether, just sitting around
waiting for the shuttle to take us to the hotel. I was the only Air Force recruit,
and the only girl. The 19-year-old Navy kid was trying to get into Aerospace
Engineering or something like that. He was smart as heck and from the Salt Lake
area. The Marine kid wanted Infantry, or better yet, he wanted Recon. He was
pumped and had a good head on his shoulders. His recruiter drove him in from
Wyoming, about 2 ½ hours away. All the rest were Army, and they had all been
bussed in from Las Vegas. Some wanted Infantry, some wanted to go Airborne and
jump from planes. The last kid finally finished his ASVAB test, and we got on
the shuttle. MEPS was now closed for the day. I sat next to the new kid that we
hadn’t met yet. I asked him what branch he was here for, he said Marines. He
was 19. Turns out he didn’t pass his test. He didn’t even get the minimum
score, therefor; he couldn’t stay the night and do his physical the next day. I
felt so bad for him. He said he had studied all day the day before. I was like,
“WHAT! You only studied for ONE DAY!” His dumb recruiter pressured him into
taking the ASVAB on a moments notice. Of course he bombed it! Man I studied for
months, and it was the hardest test I’d ever taken. One day isn’t enough. I
told the kid to buy a study guide and give it time, and go find another
freakin’ recruiter! One that would work WITH him and help him.
We checked in at the Hotel Radisson in Salt Lake. It was real nice. We got free
dinner coupons, free breakfast coupons, and instructions on our briefing that
would take place promptly at 20:00. It was 19:00 when I headed up to my room.
It was super nice, especially when I usually just stayed in a Super 8. Sleep number beds, amenities everywhere.
I got all settled in, and all of a sudden someone was trying to get into my
room. I had the latch over the door, so I went over and opened the door. This
girl walked in and was like, “Hi!” And blew right past me. I stood there
confused, and she was like, “I’m your roommate. They didn’t tell you that you
had a roommate?” I was like, “Nope. But okay…” She was in and out in less than a
second, but said a whole lot in that small amount of time. She left me a bit
dizzy. Her name was Paige. It was only like 19:25, so I didn’t have time to go
to the sit down restaurant and eat before the briefing, but I did have some
time to kill. So I went down to the lobby and sat with the kid that had just
bombed his ASVAB. He was from Payson, (way the heck out in south Utah County)
and was waiting for his ride. He was watching everyone else eat at the nice
restaurant, check into their rooms, and run around without adult supervision. I
felt so bad for him. He asked me if the rooms were nice. Well shoot kid… I’m
trying to make you feel better here… don’t ask me a question like that! I can’t
lie! I’ve got a sleep number bed up there… but no, they aren’t too nice.
Sheesh. Other kids were sitting down in the restaurant, which I didn’t think
was a good idea, since I didn’t see how they were going to order, wait and eat
all before their briefing. I didn’t want to be rushed. One of the Vegas Army
kids sat down in the lobby with us. We waited for 20:00, then headed to the
briefing room. As we were waiting for the room to fill in, more and more people
seemed to be showing up. There were 4 more girls that showed up, other than my
roommate and I. The two that I got to know at first were both shipping out in
the morning. Like, getting on their plane and headed to basic training in the
morning! I was so jealous. It was fun to be around all the buzz and excitement.
Some were shipping out the next day, some were there for physicals. So many
branches! One girl was Navy. She was 21 and had the cutest bob haircut I’d ever
seen, since apparently Navy makes girls cut their hair. The other girl was 19,
and headed to Air Force basic in the morning. She had her hair in cornrows. We
all visited, and then the briefing started. It was fast. We had a workout
facility, a game room with xbox, and pool and stuff, and a curfew to be back in
the hotel by 22:00. Those shipping out the next day listened to their
instructions, then they were free to go. We were briefed on how the morning
roll call would go, and a few other things. There was a big emphasis on girls
and guys staying out of each other’s rooms. As soon as that was mentioned,
everyone instantly scanned the room for anyone they might consider breaking the
rule for. I found this comical, but clearly the rule needed to be made clear.
After the briefing, most of us headed to the restaurant. We were all standing
there waiting to be seated, and I realized that no one knew anyone, so
naturally, we were all being seated by ourselves. I asked for a group table, since I didn’t
really want to have dinner alone. My table was instantly filled up and a group
of us all had dinner together. Dinner was fantastic, and I headed up to my
room. Since I had a roommate, and we were going to be getting up at 4:30am, I
wanted some time to myself before she came back. I had nothing against her, but I
felt so weird sharing a room with someone I didn’t know. It’s always Clark and
the kids. I knew that I needed to get used to being put into situations that I
wasn’t used to. I would be sharing my space with lots of girls that I didn’t
know, and I’d always known this. This was the beginning of this new part of my
life, so I was ready to face it head on.
I showered so that I wasn’t
in the way when Paige came back. My goal was to be in bed between 9 and 10,
since hello, I had to get up super early! Paige came in, and asked me if I
wanted to go for a walk outside before curfew. It was awfully nice of her to
ask, but I wanted to do a few last minute things before I called it a night.
She stripped her clothes off, changed into workout clothes and talked a hundred
miles a minute before I blinked, and she was gone again. She had this way of
making me dizzy! I set out my clothes and got my paperwork together before I
sat down to figure out my sleep number bed. When she came back into the room, we
started making small talk. Turns out she was Air Force. 22 or 23 years old I
think… married only 5 months now. Her husband was previously Marines. I guess
she was joining the Air Force, and her ex-Marine hubby was going to beauty
school. This girl was different, but she was growing on me. She had a cute
personality once you got to know her. We ended up talking until 12:30 in the morning!
At 11, we were like, “K we’d better get to sleep.” But then we just kept talking!
We were having so much fun. Every half hour, we were like, “We REALLY need to
get some sleep.” But that never happened. We actually had a lot in common. She
had been a nanny, I had been a nanny. I had been a surrogate mother, the lady
she nannied for had asked her to be a surrogate for her. We both had insanely
frizzy unmanageable hair. We talked about so much stuff. She really wanted to
be a linguist in the Air Force, but she didn’t think she could do it. I showed
her my DLAB study guide, and she was a natural. She caught on to as much of
that made up language in 15 minutes as I had in 4 days. I told her she should
totally wing the test tomorrow, and at least see if linguist was an option for
her. I told her the minimum was 100, since that’s what I had been told. We
finally fell asleep a little before 1am. I was so glad I had been forced to get
out of my comfort zone and get to know her. Every time I make the effort to
meet people, I always end up enjoying their company. But there’s still always
that initial hesitation and reservation. She was a lot of fun. The alarm went
off all too early. We got ready, and headed to breakfast. They had a fabulous
breakfast spread, but I just can’t eat that early in the morning. I gagged down
some oatmeal with brown sugar and craisins, but I really just have a hard time
eating that early. If you had given me an hour, I would have had bacon and
eggs, french toast, fruit, and whatever else you can think of. Turns out a lot
of people had a hard time eating. Either it was too early, or they were headed
to basic training and were just too nervous. We headed to the lobby for roll
call.
At 5:30am, while we were sitting around
waiting for the bus, you could tell who was shipping out. Marines had NOTHING
with them. Just the clothes on their back. Some Marines had a pamphlet, but they
were told to trash it at the airport. Navy had a small bag, but only the
clothes they were wearing. They would mail their one pair of clothes back as
soon as they were issued their sweats and PT clothes later that day. Air Force
recruits all had a massive duffle bag. They want you to bring 3 pairs of
civilian clothes because it takes a few days to issue uniforms and such. Ladies
bring all their own underwear, and so on. After roll call, we got on this
massive charter bus and rode the 5 minutes to MEPS. They had insisted we drink
like a gallon of water the night before because everyone has a hard time peeing
in a cup during the physical. Stage fright. I was so worried about not being
able to pee, that I drank so much water, my teeth were floating before we even got there. We sat on the bus parked
outside MEPS for like 10 minutes before the doors were opened. We got off the
bus and huddled around a man in uniform waiting for more instructions. It was
early and dark. We all had duffle bags, backpacks and a folder full of
paperwork. There’s always one guy in every group that doesn’t know when to shut
up. I’m serious. There’s always that one guy that will ruin it for everyone else.
Make it harder for everyone else. I can’t stand those people. The man in
uniform says, “Good morning.” And everyone unanimously repeats, “Good morning
Sir.” But that one guy I mentioned earlier, the 25 year old who just doesn’t
have a clue, yells, “Thank you! Good morning to you too Sir!” That was just the
beginning. “How is everyone this morning?” “Good Sir.” And then the big mouth
in the middle of the group hollers, “100% FANTASTIC SIR!” I feel bad for that
kid in basic, and I feel even worse for his flight. They might want you to
stand out, but not like that. So when they called your name, you were supposed
to walk through the metal detectors and go straight to your Liaison. You would
get a sticker nametag. You were to make sure your name and social were correct.
Then proceed to the front counter and receive further instruction. I did as I
was told.
Liaison, sticker, front desk, and off to the medical wing. Man I had to PEE! I
found out from the girl shipping off to Navy that day that the pee-in-the-cup
part didn’t come for like an hour and a half. That was good news. I stood in
that medical line for about 20 seconds dancing before I was like, “Screw this.
I gotta pee. I’ll just have to pray I can go when they need me to IN AN HOUR
AND A HALF.” I stood and waited in the medical line for a while. I was about 6th
in line, but I was in a good mood and ready for the day. As I got closer to the front of the line, you
could tell that all the men in uniform were just regular guys gearing up for
another day’s work. They were making jokes & giving recruits a hard time.
The thing I noticed most was that they had a very dry and sarcastic sense of
humor. One that I could pick up on and appreciate. Very no nonsense, tell it
like it is. (I got a lot of short jokes :) When you got to the front of the
line, they asked you what your hair color was, your eye color, and a couple
other things. For some reason I was listed as blonde. We got it fixed, and from
there, they were sending people to different lines for different rooms. My
first stop was to have my blood pressure taken, and my ears looked at. Then I
went to my vision test. They tested to see if I was colorblind. They checked
depth perception and had me read the letters on the eye chart. Passed with
20/20 in both eyes and waited for the hearing test. The first 6 of us were
loaded up into a sound proof box. We all sat on a stool and had a pair of
headphones. You couldn’t have gum in your mouth, and I had to take my earrings
out for this part. They seal the room up, and every time you hear a beep, you
click your clicker. The beeps get so unbelievably soft, and they said that it
will get so faint, you’ll wonder if you’re just hearing things. I passed the
hearing test no problem, and when it was over, we were supposed to go to the
medical briefing room.
We sat and waited for a long
time. When the room was full, we went through a dull and long series of, “This
is the first piece of paper in your folder. Don’t do anything. Don’t write
anything. Here are the instructions. If you have your own pen, don’t use it. If
you have your own pencil, don’t be a nerd. Write the date like this: 20130910
instead of 09/10/2013. Sign your name on all documents with your first, middle
and last. Not your middle initial, your full middle name. Fill in the bubble
with a check mark. Not with a bubble. Not with a star. A check mark. Turn to
page two.” And so on… you would be amazed at the amount of people that still
signed their name with only their middle initial when they did indeed have a
middle name. Or the amount of people who couldn’t figure out the date. The man
in uniform got frustrated, which I could completely understand. You can see why
they are so curt and impatient. He did have a good sense of humor though. At
one point, he was like, “Put your occupation on this line. If you’re a
lifeguard, write lifeguard. Not swimming pool. You are not a swimming pool, you
are a LIFEGUARD. Then he walked around while everyone was writing, and he said
to the marine kid behind me, “What’s a Chip n’ Dale?” I busted up laughing. He
was giving the kid a hard time but it was seriously funny. Then we did a
breathalyzer test. I was the first to go, and he told me I had to do it right
the first time because I was setting the bar. He congratulated me on being
sober. They had people come in and check your packets to make sure all your
paperwork was done correctly. By this time, I had to pee again, and apparently
so did the 3rd girl in our group. It was time for our blood draws.
We filed into the lab, had our blood drawn, and sat in chairs to wait some
more. They only test for HIV, and nothing more. Then it was time to pee in a
cup. The men in uniforms were taking bets as to how many guys would have stage
fright today. Us 3 girls followed an ornery old nurse (our chaperone for the
day) into the special bathroom. There
were two giant stalls. We had to pull our pants down past our knees, pee, and
set the cup on a paper towel at our feet. The nurse couldn’t take her eyes off
the cup. She used her cane to slide the paper towel out of our immediate way,
and we could shut the stall and finish our business. When we opened the stall
again, we had to hold the paper towel and cup out in front of us and stand up
against a wall til everyone was finished. Then they opened a window in the
bathroom, where a guy was standing there on the other side waiting to do his
thing. He took my cup, dipped a pregnancy test into it, and told me that these
tests took forever. I recognized them immediately. They were the dollar store
tests I had at home. He said, “Whoa! That’s the fastest negative I’ve ever
seen!” I wasn’t allowed to look away from what he was doing, so that he
couldn’t be accused of contaminating my sample or switching it out. If I looked
away, the sample got tossed and I’d have to pee again. He sealed it up and
bagged it. They test for a number of drugs. 6 I think. They said even if you
don’t do drugs, but your buddy smoked pot on the way to school in the car with
you 2 weeks ago, and it shows up in your urine, you’re done for. No exceptions,
no explanations. Once we were done, we could wash our hands. Then we sat and
waited some more. They had us lock up our bags and cell phones when we first
got there, so I had no idea what time it was, but I was starving. I asked
someone, and it was only like 8:30am.
Then it was time for my
personal interview with the Doctor. I sat in a room with him and he reviewed
all my previous medical history and paperwork. We talked about my carpal
tunnel. He made me do some of the same tests they did when they were diagnosing
the carpal tunnel. Over the intercom, we heard them announce that lunch was
being served once you were finished with your physical. We were all starving.
It felt like it was 3 in the afternoon when it was only 10am.
It was time for all the girls
to file off into a room for the fun part.
We had to strip down to our underwear. Panties and bra. One girl was
beautiful. Fit and toned. Air Force as well. I hadn’t met her yet. My roommate
had never had kids either, and she looked fine. Both of them were in fancy
underwear, and I was trying my hardest to be invisible. I had told my roommate
the night before how uncomfortable I was and how much I was dreading this part.
She knew I was struggling, and every so often, she would whisper, “You’re doing
great. You’re almost there.” First we were weighed, one at a time. I was 128.
Then we were measured. I was exactly 60 inches. Then the Doctor came in. His
name was Dr. Pain. No joke. How appropriate. He was a nice elderly man though,
and very understanding. He looked at our eyes and had us follow the light. He
looked in our ears and mouth. He listened to our heart and our breathing. Then
he turned on a movie where there was a person demonstrating things like the
duck walk. One at a time, we’d waddle across the room. Then we’d do all sorts
of range of motion things with our arms, our legs, our feet, and so on. He
watched our spine and watched for a limp in our gait. When we were done, we
went behind a curtain and stripped naked. Wrapped up in a paper blanket, and
one at a time, went into the exam room (with the chaperone of course.) I was
second. Laid on the bed, and did the breast exam. Super fun. Then you let your
knees rest with your feet in stirrups. They don’t do anything except look for a
quick second. There is no pap smear or pelvic exam. Then they make you lean
forward and they check your back and butt. That was pretty much it. They let
you get dressed and that’s when Dr. Pain signed some stuff and said, “You’re
good to go.” I asked him if I was cleared for my carpal tunnel, and he said
that the head surgeon would need to review his approval, but that I was pretty
much good to go. I asked him if I could hug him! I was so excited :) He
laughed. I went out and sat in another chair waiting for the Head Physician.
This man had very little personality and was all business. He looked at my
paperwork, signed it and handed it back to me without so much as looking at me.
I was told to talk to him about my concern with shin splints. I told him my
concern, he didn’t seem worried, gave me some advise, and that was that. As I
left his room, I had to be cleared to leave the medical wing. While they review
your file to leave the medical wing, they make you do a read-aloud test. I
think it’s just testing for stutters and whatnot. It’s a paragraph that makes
absolutely no sense. Like, “Tell Uncle Bub that you don’t like the color
purple. He’ll yell out bumblebee! And you can run as fast as you can up the
hill and into the pot of gold until your dad sprinkles cupcakes with bicycles.”
It’s just a nonsense paragraph, and they have you start over if you get caught
up on a word or stutter. They make you stand in front of the waiting room where
everyone is sitting waiting for various tasks as you read. It wasn’t a big deal
and they hardly listen to you. I don’t mind being up in front of people, so I
just read it and that was that. Once I was done, the chaperone nurse and men in
uniforms were all joking around and talking with me. They all knew I had been
nervous about the carpal tunnel clearance, so they all congratulated me.
I went to the Air Force
Liaison office. He looked over my paperwork and told me to go to the front desk
to get fingerprinted. The front desk directed me to the back of the building
where they electronically printed all ten fingers. Then I was allowed to get
lunch. Deli sandwiches, a cookie, chips and a drink. I had such a bad headache
by this point, and I had waited so long to eat, that I actually didn’t feel
very good. I took a couple bites but threw almost my entire lunch away. Then I
just sat in the waiting area for like an hour waiting for the liaisons to call
me back. I got to know others that were sitting out there as well. All the kids
I knew from the hotel that were shipping out that day were still at MEPS! They
said that some of their flights weren’t ‘til 2 or even 5 in the afternoon. They
were waiting for family to arrive so they could be a part of the swear in
ceremony. We watched them go into the big room with all the flags and décor. Then
the liaison called me back.
I had to lift a giant weight
bolted to the ground. It was a big machine where you had to Olympic Power Clean
weight over your head. Thank goodness for Crossfit, otherwise I would have had
no clue how to do this. You had to lift the weight over your head, but it was
heavy, and you had to do it a certain way. Locking your arms and lifting with
your legs. Paige was able to lift 70, and I was able to lift 80. I almost did
90, but I was tired after previously doing 50, 60, 70 and 80. The Liaison told
us that you had to lift 100 pounds to be a firefighter and a couple other things,
but to do just about anything else, you just had to lift 70 lbs. Anything after
70 was just gravy. Paige wanted to take the DLAB, so she went back to the
testing center. I went and sat down with my liaison. He started looking over
paperwork, and that’s when he discovered I could enlist as an E-2. I was
stoked. Then their computers crashed. This is what I’d been waiting for all
day. I swear I’m cursed. He had already printed out a list of jobs that I
qualified for, which was lucky, so we went through and highlighted everything I
was even remotely interested in. I ended up with 17 jobs in my list. Then he
printed up my contract. We went over it, and I signed it. Then he gave me my
Air Force t-shirt. Then they had me follow a lady through this maze of offices
at the back of the building. As I was following her to her desk, she dropped
her yogurt and it splattered EVERYWHERE. I helped her clean it up, and
eventually sat down at her desk. It was a cross between the cat lady’s desk,
and my great grandma’s… Floral doilies, dusty fake flowers, and cat stuff
everywhere. It reeked of coffee. She pulled up the same contract on her
computer, and I electronically signed it with my fingerprint. That was it. She
took me to another room with a computer.
I had to take a survey about
my day at MEPS. It was pretty generic. Was the facility clean? Was the staff
friendly and helpful? Would you change anything about your day at MEPS? I gave
them great marks, but I did leave this big long complaint about having to do
all that crap in your bra and underwear. I told them that there was no reason
that my stomach had to be showing that entire time. I told them that my stomach
was as private as my vagina, and that the only time it needed to be uncovered
was with the doctor during the examination.
If the doctor needed to see my stomach, he could do so during the exam.
Not while I’m duck walking and hopping around with other people in the room. Then
it asked for my name, phone number and email, so I added another complaint
about the fact that I thought it was bull that my survey wasn’t anonymous. I
wasn’t going to take back my complaint though. I was genuinely upset about the
fact my stomach was showing that whole time. Nevertheless, I survived my worst
nightmare. I was truly mortified about that part of the physical, and I lost
sleep over it for weeks leading up. I got through it, and as far as I’m
concerned, I can now do anything.
After the survey, it was time
for me to be sworn in. It was pretty neat. You can have family there when you
swear in, but I wasn’t worried about that, since I’ll have another swear in
before I leave for basic training. Family can all come to that one. A guy in
uniform read us the code of conduct for the military, and we got a crash course
on stances, like the Parade Rest stance, and Attention. By crash course, I
mean, he showed us once, and had us try it once. Then he left to get the
Captain. I was a little overwhelmed. I was worried I’d mess up and do the wrong
stance or something. While the 4 of us were standing there nervously, one kid
said, “In just a moment, we will all be property of the US Government. We all
nervously chuckled… we were all thinking the same thing. We’re gonna screw this
up. The Captain came in and asked us if we had any objections to saying the
words “God or swear.” We all said, “No Sir.” Then he swore us in…
“I, Vanessa Amundson, do
solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United
States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith
and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of
the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me according to
law and regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God.”
This flood of emotion came
over me as I swore in. It was pretty intense. It was just all becoming real. I
know this sounds cheezy, but I felt this sense of patriotism that I’d never
felt before. After we swore in, the Captain came around and shook our hands.
Congratulated us and told us that what we were doing was admirable and he commended
us for joining the military because of all the chaos and upheaval currently in
the world. We followed him out, and he handed us some new paperwork. Then I
went back to my liaison.
At this point, we were about
finished, and it was about 2:30 in the afternoon or so. My liaison had me call
Clark real quick to tell him to be on his way, but I couldn’t talk. We spent
another 20 minutes finishing up. Because he couldn’t electronically submit my
job preferences, (the computers were still down) we talked about what he would
officially enter into the computer. Talked about all the different jobs, and my
DLAB score. I didn’t qualify for certain jobs because of my height. If you had
a fear of spiders or insects, you didn’t qualify for certain jobs. We talked
about what my contract meant, and that was pretty much it. I took my t-shirt
and got my phone and duffle bag. Sat down in the waiting area with the friends
I’d made over the last 24 hours and visited while I waited for Clark. They had
watched me swear in and asked what it was like. Some of them had backpacks and
stuff from their recruiters. Then this one 19 year old Army kid from Vegas
wanted to ask me for all sorts of relationship advise. It was pretty funny.
They all joined in. This one kid was like, “You’re like a mom. All mature and
stuff…” and all the other kids were like, “She is a mom! Duh!” lol… every time
the annoying 25 year old know-it-all butted in and offered his loud opinion,
the kids were like, “I asked her, not you man.” They still had a 7 hour drive
home with him! And you could tell they couldn’t take much more. Clark pulled up
out front, and I was released from MEPS.
Climbed in the car, and gave
Clark all the highlights. We were both in such shock that the day had gone so
well! I told him everything. All the big news about E-2, and swearing in, and
the carpal tunnel clearance… oh man. It was unreal.
The next day, my recruiter
called. He wanted to drive the 35 minutes up to my house and get things going
for job selection (since the computers had been down at MEPS. Oh, btw, I was
THE ONLY person that never completed the day because of the computers. As soon
as I left MEPS that day, the computers came back online. I’m tellin’ you guys…
cursed.) My recruiter is so great. He has always been completely on the ball. I
told him I could make the drive to him, and when I showed up, he had a huge bag
of Air Force stuff waiting for me. Laptop backpack, lanyard, water bottle,
workout towel, and toy fighter planes for the kids.
I signed more paperwork, and he said they were going to run a security
clearance check IF I landed an intelligence job. Then he gave me a
folder of all the stuff I needed to memorize and know for basic training. Turns
out I only needed to know the first verse of the Air Force song, but I
memorized ALL OF IT. I have everything memorized, from song, to creed, to core
values and rank. He said that because I was now considered reserves, or delayed
enlistment, I needed to check in every Friday via text to let him know that I
was alive and well. I needed to check in by using the reporting statement that
I’d use at basic. “Sir/Ma’am, Trainee Amundson reports as ordered.” In
addition, once a month, there was a meeting in his office for all delayed
enlistment recruits. We would weigh in, talk with a recently returned recruit
from basic, ask questions, and be able to show that we didn’t have a broken leg
we were trying to hide. He has recruits that dance the line between being
overweight vs. underweight… my max weight is 145, and I’m 128, so he’s not
worried about me.
That was it. I check in once
a month in person. I check in every Friday by phone, and I sit tight and wait
for them to land me a job. He said it could be 2 weeks, or it could be 3
months. I will put it out of my mind at this point. I can’t rush the process. Military,
a whole lot of “Hurry up and then wait…” All I can do is continue staying ready
for basic. When they call with a job, then I’ll know more about my ship date
for basic training. Their ballpark time frame is between January and March. It
could be later than that, it could even be sooner. I like both. I like leaving
later, because that would mean I get to spend Brylee’s 3rd birthday
with her in October, have Halloween with my girls, and spend Thanksgiving and
Christmas with Taylor, Clark and the girls. On top of that, it would give me
more time to prepare; physically, mentally, emotionally. It would give me more
time to make sure everything will run smooth for Clark while I’m gone. On the
flip side, the later in the new year I leave, the more I risk being gone for
part or all of my summer visitation with Taylor. I’m having to wrap my head
around this very real fact. We have no control over when I leave, so we just
have to deal with it when the time comes. This is the part I’m really sick of.
The waiting game. The not knowing…
My sister called last night.
She admitted that she didn’t believe for one minute that I’d ever actually join
the Air Force. I can say this because A) she hates reading my long blogs, and
B) she will always love me no matter what I think, say or do. We don’t always
understand each other, but we’re always there for each other. She thinks I’m
nuts, but she thought I was nuts when I was a surrogate mother too. She’s
excited for us though. I called my dad. He was just as wonderful as he always
is. He said that he wanted to come to graduation. He said if I ended up in
Monterey at DLI, he wanted to come visit during tech school. (I was born in
Monterey California while he was stationed at Fort Ord.) I love my dad. He’s
pretty great.
Which reminds me. I have a
piece of paper that has to include anyone that might want to come to
graduation. If I have a crazy Aunt Muriel who is a major flake, and she MIGHT
want to come to graduation, I have to have her on this list, otherwise she
can’t get on base. I received my retirement information and my medical insurance
information from my recruiter as well. I am technically military, so I have
access to Hill Air Force base just outside of Salt Lake. When I have my orders,
I can look into USAA insurance.
It’s weird saying I’m in, vs. saying I’m “working on” getting in.
Clark and I have been talking
a lot about this transition we’ll be making. I’ve got my feathers a little
ruffled… I told him that the big life change isn’t going to be basic training
or wearing a uniform for me. It’s the fact our family dynamic will change.
That’s the scary part for me. Some people start their lives from the beginning
in the military. But it’s not just a figurative “life change.” It’s a literal
“life change” in every sense of the word. Now that this is all becoming more
and more real, it’s starting to sink in a bit more every day. Crazy stuff.
Oh! I called my roommate
Paige the next day. I left MEPS before she was finished with her test. She told
me she scored 102 on the DLAB, and I was so excited for her! Until she told me
that the new minimum score was 105 and she barely missed the mark. I couldn’t
believe it. She winged that DLAB. She only spent 15 minutes looking over the
concept with me, she took it, and scored over 100! But TECHNICALLY didn’t pass!
I was so upset! I was the one that told her that 100 was passing, because
that’s what I had been told. The testing instructor even thought she passed. I
got her hopes all up, and she genuinely rocked that test, but they just keep
moving that stupid minimum score up. I felt so dang bad. As far as I was
concerned, she freakin’ rocked it. She had a real knack for it… I’m telling ya.
So she’s waiting to find out what her job is as well. We plan on staying in
touch.
I can officially do 3
pull-ups now, and did 35 push-ups yesterday in 1 minute. I have to do 27 to
graduate, but 37 to graduate with honors. I’m pretty excited.
Gonna sit tight and wait for
more details. So happy things are really falling into place! :)
Of course I had to include my cheezy facebook picture :)
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